So turning forty is upon me and according to the mainstream media I should be histrionic by now. Apparently, come 9th September, everything will rapidly slide downhill, corrugate, sprout hairs or crumble. Or maybe do it all at once. How exciting! Never fear though- according to Channel Four’s How Not to Get Old, I too can ‘fight’ the signs of ageing in many, many ways. Having watched carefully however, I have found that they’ve missed out a few but don’t worry, I’ve got them covered.
Recent Ways I Have Fought the Signs of Ageing.
I have:
- Made a silly choice over hair colour and had to get an adult to correct it.
- Worn new shoes with no socks. Ouch.
- Gone on YouTube to learn how to put my eye make-up on properly.
- Got bored and taken loads of selfies.
- Mixed wine and beer. Also ouch.
- Sulked with my mum.
- Cuddled the dog until he was sick of me.
- Purchased some Back to School shiny shoes.
- Given myself nightmares by watching scary television.
And next week I will continue to fight the good fight by writing a birthday list and asking for a glockenspiel.
So, the real issue for me is how to fight the signs of immaturity. Any of these items would do nicely.
Liz Earle Cleanse and Polish Hot Cloth Cleanser- Grapefruit and Patchouli Ltd Edition
Whilst simultaneously eavesdropping and nosing in a cafe recently, I happened to find out from the lady at the next table that this stuff is fantastic. She had amazing skin, so to follow her advice shows great wisdom.
Mulberry Bayswater in Mole Grey
This shows firstly that some bags do age gracefully and secondly that grey is good thing.
Tory Burch Stella Suede Ankle Boots
Nothing speaks of maturity like a bit of Tory Burch and I reckon I will have learned to walk in them proficiently by the time I’m fifty. I don’t do heels yet.
And finally,
Winter Tyres
Because I’m nearly forty and know that this is what I really need to buy. Looking forward to telling people about it at length at dinner parties.
Lessons in Distraction 